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It’s just a thing…but I lost it.

It’s just a thing…but I lost it.

I had arrived early (not NORMALLY my style) to my weekly yoga practice. I decided to take advantage of one of our first truly warm spring days of the season and walked around the studio’s parking lot to de-fog my brain from a busy day.

I helped get the studio set up for class and took some time to focus as the workout began. In the middle of my flow from Downward Facing Dog to Plank and back to Down Dog, I felt a tickle from the back of my ear. I watched as the back of my earring fell to my yoga mat in front of my face.

I stayed focused on the movements and brushed the back of the earring aside. I reached up to grab the actual earring and set it to the side of my mat as well. But, when I touched my ear, I realized that the earring wasn’t there.

Panic set in. I tried for 5 minutes to continue with the poses, but my brain was spinning, my stomach started to churn, and I knew I had to stop and go outside to look for my missing earring before the sun went down.

I awkwardly excused myself from the class, grabbed my shoes, and headed outdoors to search.

At this point, you might be wondering what the big deal was. People lose earrings all the time.  Maybe you’re thinking it was a family heirloom, or at the very least belonged to my now-deceased grandmother. Nope. None of that.

I was freaking out because these earrings were from Tiffany & Co.

Tiffany’s, of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” fame…of “Little Blue Box” fame…of “Nothing very bad could happen to you at Tiffany’s” fame.

Maybe Tiffany’s doesn’t make your heart pitter-patter, and the idea of receiving a beautiful gift in a little blue box isn’t something that excites you—but it does me. You see, I like nice things. I guess I always have. I’m a product of a society that directs their marketing towards people like me. I bought into the American Dream hook, line, and sinker! I grew up with parents who created a childhood and young adulthood for me that was firmly rooted in the middle class: never wanting for anything, but always wanting something!

Of course, when I launched out into the world on my own, I quickly realized I didn’t have the budget for all the ‘nice things’ I thought I would have as a young adult.  My American Dream was not quite as shiny as I expected.

I’m more than a decade into my adult life, and I’d say I’m a fairly level-headed and responsible person. I have a job. I pay my bills. I live within my means–mostly. After recently experiencing a perceived set-back of sorts in my life, a friend presented me with a gift to celebrate the fact that I took a tough ‘life event’ and navigated my way through it with grit, compassion, and determination.

She’d gotten me this gift because she says every girl should have something that makes her feel fabulous when they put it on, especially on hard days.

When I reached in the bag to find a little blue box with two silver knot earrings in it, I gasped. The gift felt too large, too generous, too much to accept. But, it was beautiful, meaningful, and it made my little heart sing. For consumers like me who like nice things, this gift felt special, even aside from the meaning attached to it.

Flashback to me walking around a parking lot, eyeing the cracked asphalt, hoping to see a little flicker of light as the setting sun caught a piece of silver amongst the concrete. I cried. Then I told myself not to cry because the tears would make it harder to see. I retraced my steps once, twice, then a third time.

As the class was coming to an end, my instructor came outside to see if I was ok. I cried and blubbered my sad sob story to her, and then to the owners of the studio. My earring was nowhere to be seen. It was truly lost, and searching for it longer seemed like a lost cause.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” I said. “It’s just a thing.”

But in my heart, I thought…a pretty and expensive thing from Tiffany’s and I LOST it!

I spent a good amount of time talking myself down from the proverbial ledge as I drove home.  Things are things.  Losing this earring made me sad, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I’ve lived long enough, and in enough places, to know that the things we own don’t define us. They don’t make us truly happy—or sad. They don’t, in most cases, alter the trajectory of our lives.

Like my earrings, the ‘things’ we collect are just accessories. Sure, it’s nice to have nice things. And it’s hard to lose things that we love, but it’s imperative that we find our identity in something that can’t be lost and won’t fade away.  When we’re rooted and grounded in something more lasting than ‘stuff’, we can better handle the gifts and losses in life with gratitude, humility, and grace.

I’m happy to report that this sad little story does have a happy ending. When I got home and went into my room, I saw a shimmer of light on top of my bed. I rushed in closer, and there, on top of my duvet, was my lost earring.  It must have fallen out when I was changing for class.

What about you?  What nice things do you just LOVE? Have you ever lost something of great value to you?  And maybe more importantly, where do you root your identity? Is it something lasting, or something you can lose?

This post reflects the views of the author, and is intended to start a conversation. Please share your thoughts in the comments below!

Or, if you’d like to hear some overall thoughts on identity from Christians at THRED, you can find those over here.

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Rachel Legoute
First and foremost a people person, Rachel is taking her gift of gab and love for conversation and applying it to the THRED community! She loves her two little girls, reading new authors, fancy dinners, and she makes it a goal to laugh hard every day. She does not like having to be brief, or ham on pizza…

2 Comments

  1. I lost something very valuable to me once a long time ago. I had a boyfriend who was my first love my first everything my best friend we met when I was 15 he was 18 we worked together at McDonald’s and he was my trainer. Everyone had told me to stay away from warning me about him. Of course when I met him we instantly connected and the butterflies always came around when I was near him. He asked me out one night at the drive in window. I think I said yes before he even asked lol. We fell in love after that and had many great times​ but like any young love we had problems too. He joined the Navy and moved to Jacksonville FL. We were doing the long distance relationship thing and it was working we got even closer than we had ever been before. Finally I saved up enough to fly out and visit him. Me and best friend went and stayed with him. While he was at work we found a ring box. Not snooping or anything lol. I was freaking out inside and my heart was going to burst. When he got home his friend that had a car drove us out to the beach. I was wearing this fake ring I had and he stole it from me he was playing around with me and when he put it back on my finger it was the ring from the box. A beautiful dainty diamond ring. It was just my style. We promised ourselves to each other that day. I came home the happiest girl in the world. I wore my ring everywhere. One night after a fight on the phone and a few drinks at a friend’s house I threw the ring in anger. I’d regret that for the rest of my life. I tried frantically to find it I even brought my metal detector to no avail. I lost it forever. I never told him. We’re we’re on and off but flash forward 2 years I had moved to SC with my family alot closer to him in Fl. He was out to sea and we emailed and he was going to come see me when he got back. He never did, he met someone else in Florida and while we still loved each other we decided to stay friends. We always kept in touch and we talked about things we never had before. He was my plan for life. I always thought we would get back together get married and have kids one day. I went on with my life and got a job waitressing in a bar. One night around 230 I felt like I needed to call him. I did but chickened out and hung up before he could answer. I felt sad that night like something was wrong. When I woke up the next morning I thought my sister and dad were acting funny they didn’t want me to get online. I was like okay im just gonna check my Myspace. I did and I saw posts I didn’t understand and then a message from his sister telling me to call her asap. Brian had passed away that night in a car accident. My world crashed down around me. I can still remember hitting the pavement and skinning my knees. It was very hard still is. Im 31 have a husband and 2 beautiful daughters now I’ve moved on and im very happy. I still miss him. I think about him almost every day. I’ll never forget him. Tears still roll down my cheeks and I laugh sometimes when a memory comes around. I know that ring was just a ring but to me it was so much more. It was him. It was something i could hang on to. I dont have much left just memories. I wish I could find it, I wish I never threw it. I wish he was still here. Love Lives

    • Rachel Legoute

      Hey Melanie!

      Thanks for taking the time to read this and respond. I’m sorry that you lost someone so close and special to you. I can definitely relate to special gifts having really special connections to moments and people in our life. But, like you, I realized that the relationships we share with people are so much more important–and lasting! It doesn’t make the loss any less ‘hard’–I know. Wishing you you Peace as you continue to grieve the loss of a friend, and lots of Joy in the family you have 🙂

      Take Care!

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